Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon

You should know what you're getting in to.

1/10 

      If you are going to see Transformers 3, you have probably seen the other 2 previous movies.  And if this is the case, chances are you know what you are getting in to with this final installment. You will get tons of action, megatons of noise and very little else to care about.  Plot-wise, this film finishes the battle between the ‘Autobots’ and the ‘Decepticons’ (the good and bad transforming robots).  These two gargantuan alien clans are fighting each other on Earth for the control of a super-weapon. But the plot doesn’t matter in these movies, all we want are giant robots transforming, fighting and blowing things up. 

Let’s start with what was good.  The 3D was extremely impressive.  Obviously not Avatar quality, but with all the CG effects in the film, I would say this is the second best 3D I’ve ever seen.  The outstanding visual effects is the main draw for this series and they do not disappoint. It’s fairly safe to say that the point of the Transformers trilogy ARE the effects.  In the last hour alone, you certainly get your money’s worth of computer-effects wizardry.  

However, the movie is two and a half-hours long, and you will have to tread through 90 minutes of muck in order to reach the final explosion-o-rama.  This first section is quite unbearable.  It has all of the usual problems that arise as a result of Michael Bay’s directing style: tons of product placement (commercial and military), excessive slow-motion, shots that are ‘cool-for-the-sake-of-being-cool’, unrealistic female characters, over-tanned orange people, cheesy pop songs that tell you exactly how you should feel and character arcs that just get dropped or rushed.  This movie has also demonstrated to me that I can no longer stand watching Shia Labeouf’s over-acting.  

Summary: With Michael Bay’s style all over this loud, expensive blockbuster, we get what we’ve come to expect from him.  It’s big and stupid...but the ‘big’ is pretty entertaining.  If he had just released the last hour as a short concept film full of explosions, that would have been interesting, but alas, the front end of the film exists.  Transformers 3 is deservedly #1469 of the 1564 movies I’ve seen.